Articles & Publications

By Thomas Koulopoulos | inc.com
Published: April 22, 2015

The following is an article excerpt highlighting an application of Converstaional Intelligence. For the full, original article, please read the article here on inc.com

Staying away from compromise is the key to getting the most out of a negotiation.

Negotiation may well be the single most important and yet least understood business and life skill. Most people see negotiation as a conflict between adversaries, a way to one-up an opponent through manipulation. With over 30 years of running businesses, I can tell you that nothing could be further from the truth. Negotiation is not a boxing match; it's more like a dance between strangers in which the participants need to develop a deep understanding of each other to avoid tripping over themselves. This doesn't mean that you are going to look deeply into each other's eyes and end in a warm embrace. The point is not to try to make friends but simply to maximize the value of the outcome to all parties. And here's the most non-intuitive aspect of doing that: You should never compromise.

...

Here are five simple ways to help you do that and to avoid falling into the trap of compromise.

1. Set the tone for the negotiation by making it clear that you want to understand the other party's constraints, objectives, and values. Don't be shy asking about budget, comparable services/products, the priorities of values, objectives, vision. It's amazing how infrequently people even ask about budget!
2. Listen and ask at least as much as you talk and tell. My good friend Judith Glaser has written extensively about the notion of "Conversational Intelligence." Her premise is that we just don't ask and listen enough. That small insight helped me in one of the most stressful life negotiations I had. Don't dismiss it.

The above is an article excerpt highlighting an application of Converstaional Intelligence. For the full, original article, please read the article here on inc.com



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